Surprises

Familiarity breeds … 

There are a great many answers to that prompt. We all have our own. Especially now, because there is a whole lot of familiarity going on this spring. 

As we are forced to stay apart from friends, classmates, teachers, and teammates, many of us are spending a bunch of time up close with our families. 

While we all have our moments, I suspect there have been some interesting quarantine discoveries. Amid the uncertainty and mishaps, our family’s familiarity has bred… 

… A healthy appetite. There is magic in a shared meal. Dinner together has been far more regular recently. None of us have any practices, meetings, or events to go to! Having everyone at or near the table does not, in and of itself, guarantee gripping conversation, or any conversation at all, but it increases the chances! 

… Music. Bandleader and trumpet wizard Wynton Marsalis wrote a children’s book called Squeak, Rumble, Whomp, Whomp, Whomp about the music he heard in the everyday sounds in and around his family’s shotgun house in New Orleans. To be fair, Marsalis grew up in the first family of jazz, so music was likely to be everywhere. We are not the Marsalises, but I would wager each of our homes has a collection of sounds that makes our own music. A constant soundtrack pervades our house. The occasional bark from our dog mixes with a Stevie Wonder record, which joins the laughter of a game of tag, which is accompanied by a zoom call from the next room, which is punctuated by blasts of a third grade recorder. It all blends to make a particular melody, unique to our address.  

… Knowing looks. Our unspoken language is robust. We can announce our approval or challenge without saying a word. A glance can be a signal. An eye roll can be a full sentence. A nod can be a call to arms. There are volumes spoken through the silent looks that pass under the rhythm of our house music.

… Surprises. I read recently a recommendation that we,  “ Listen as best you can for what’s different, for what surprises you. “ Even in our homes right now, with our abundant familiarity, we will find the surprises if we listen intentionally. What surprises us, especially with those we know best, unwraps new layers in our relationships. 

This practice can also be the cure to the deja vu of our daily zoom calls. Listen for surprises. If you are lucky enough to work or live with children, you won’t have to wait long. The attention will be worth it. Surprises may spark conversation, new reading, or even a song.